Chuck Norris Facts
When Chuck Norris gets in the pool he doesn’t get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
If you find yourself in the unique position of disagreeing with Chuck Norris, it’s because YOU’RE WRONG!
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear rug in his room.
The bear isn’t dead, it’s just afraid to move.
It is said that Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer.
Too bad he’s never cried.
There used to be a street named “Chuck Norris” but it was changed because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris doesn’t do push ups…
He does Earth downs.
Fear of spiders is called arachnophobia.
Fear of tight spaces is called claustrophobia.
Fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic.
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
He didn’t. He rotated the Earth until the road was on the other side of him.
Chuck Norris was once asked to demonstrate how powerful he really is.
In response Chuck Norris created a giant bolder; so large and so heavy that even he couldn’t lift it.
…Then he picked it up.
Superman and Chuck Norris once fought on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear outside of his pants.
Did you know that Chuck Norris had a role in Star Wars?
He was the Force.
One day Chuck Norris sat down and counted to infinity.
Then he did it again.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago.
Death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell him yet.
The reason you rarely see Chuck Norris using a gun is it’s usually faster and more deadly when Chuck Norris just throws the bullet himself.
There is no such thing as evolution.
There’s only a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris is always on Santa’s nice list…
… or else.
One time Chuck Norris killed 37 terrorists with only 2 bullets.
The first bullet was a warning shot.
Chuck Norris doesn’t go hunting. The word “hunting” implies the possibility of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
Everyone asks “Where’s Waldo?”
Has anyone ever though to ask WHY Waldo is hiding?
The reason is Chuck Norris
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the Moon.
Chuck Norris was the first man to walk on the Sun.
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